Sabbath and Balance

So, it's funny really. This always seems to happen. I get in a rut and then start praying for guidance etc. The Lord then tries showing me over and over again what I'm supposed to do, but it usually takes Him SCREAMING it at me.

And THEN I get it. But not usually until then.

Maybe it's that I'm stubborn. Or that I want to try and figure it out my way (which of course just makes me feel more overwhelmed). Either way, it's not usually until it's plainly clear that I see that the Lord is actually talking to me, taking care of me, and helping me, that I give in.

Recently I have just been having a REALLY hard time with finding balance. Being a stay at home mom, there really is no separating work from family. My family is my work. I have this constant nagging in my head daily that I need to keep up with everything... "Cause that's my job"... "Like a Mom". The house needs to be cleaned, dishes need to be done, laundry needs to be done, meals need to be cooked, Parker needs to have her schedule EXACT so that she's happy when dad gets home. I mean, it's getting ridiculous.  But no one has put these expectations on me expect myself (though sometimes I like to blame my mom because she always seemed to have everything together.... love you mom). Blair is not telilng me I need to have these things done all the time. Parker isn't telling me that I need to have these things done all the time. But for some reason, I always think that they do. And then along with it I'm trying to also focus on my phtography, and yet still somehow manage being involved in our church/other ministries.

With all that, there's no way I'm taking time for myself. To focus on myself. That would be silly.

So, this is what I have been struggling with. I think I mentioned it once before maybe, but I'm just having a hard time with my "me" time. And honestly with my "husband and me" time. And quite honestly I feel like recently those things have been getting neglected. And of course I've been praying about it. But, what I haven't been doing is listening to the Lord. What I haven't been doing is actually doing anything about it. So I just pray, and whine, and cry about poor ol' me not getting my "me" time. Well, it's time to do something about it.

And it seems the Lord agrees, because it seems a lot of things I have come across this week have been talking about "balance" and/or the meaning of Sabbath.

This last week our church held a "Mom'Hood" gathering at our church and it was JUST what I needed. It was a night for mom's of all ages to get together, eat, drink coffee, and hear from older wiser mom's who have "been there done that" or who are "in the thick of it". It was SO refreshing! I'm not alone. And I'm not the first mom to feel off balance. And actually from what I saw and heard, most mom's go through it. They all gave some great tips on how to find balance and how important it is to really take time for yourself. To have fun. And not just "work". But to really enjoy life and enjoy your kids. I'm feeling this to the 10th degree. With Parker being almost 10 months old (in two days), I continue to ask myself where in the WORLD the last 10 months went. 10 PLUS months. How is it that she is already almost a year? What have I done in the last 10 months? Sometimes it feels like I've just been struggling to stay afloat, but then I know that other times it's not.

So, I guess where I'm going with this, is that it has become pretty clear that I need to find balance. I need to start taking care of myself. And I need to start puting more time and effort into Blair and my relationship. One way I'm going to do this is by really taking a day a week to just relax. And maybe Sunday is a great day for that. Not only to rest and get ready for the week, but also to spend time with the Lord. I am also going to try and start getting more involved in a mom's group during the week. I feel like these two things will really help. (Other than making sure I make myself take a shower and put make-up on...). So, that's where I'm going to start for now, and hopefully I'll start feeling a little more balance.

What are things YOU are doing to find balance?